Where I have been...

I doubt if I have very faithful readers, but you'll notice a humongous gap between this post and my last post. It's coming to the end of a very interesting school year and I think I will begin posting again to just sort of work out my thoughts and feelings.

I'm struggling with what to reveal on such a public forum, so I'll keep it simple now to try to get myself started. I had a lot of personal issues to deal with this year that made me realize how important my faith in God was, how important my family is to me and how important it is to have a community around me to get me through the day to day. It's very difficult to admit that you can't do life alone and that you are dependent on others, but I believe this was the big reveal for me in this past year.

I will try to write more regularly because summer is coming and I believe it will be vital for me to reflect in writing some of the thoughts and feelings I have. I will end this short post with the poem/prayer that really helped me through this year. I keep this posted above my desk at school and I've read and reread it many times.

PATIENT TRUST

Above all, trust in the slow work of God.

We are quite naturally impatient in everything

to reach the end without delay.

We would like to skip the intermediate stages.

we are impatient of being on the way to something

unknown, something new.

And yet, it is the law of all progress

that it is made by passing through

some stages of instability--

and that it may take a very long time.

And so I think it is with you;

your ideas mature gradually--let them grow,

let them shape themselves, without undue haste.

Don't try to force them on,

as though you could be today what time,

(that is to say, grace) and circumstances

acting on your own good will

will make of you tomorrow.

Only God could say what this new spirit

gradually forming in you will be.

Give our Lord the benefit of believing

that his hand is leading you,

and accept the anxiety of feeling yourself

in suspense and incomplete.

by Pierre Teilhard de Chardin, SJ

from Hearts on Fire: Praying with the Jesuits