The biggest issues with my struggles to live more peacefully within myself are the ideas of boundaries and control.
Control is the biggie. I noticed when I was on Gabriola Island that I was more relaxed and really liked it. I realized as I went on that the reason I was relaxed was probably that I wasn't trying to control others and my surroundings so much. I just let things be. The advantage of going to the same place for vacation is that you can notice differences in your reactions, I guess. I wasn't concerned with how others did things or if they did them "right." This has given me insight when I've returned to school to recognize when some tension is building inside me. Am I trying to control others or events? I've struggled a bit with this in the past week and I keep reminding myself of what the wise Jesuit said to an initiate: "You are not God. This is not heaven. Don't be an ass." Wiser words I have rarely read about how to live in community!
Boundaries is another issue that I've only just realized. Sometimes I hear about another teacher who is going through a hard time and think that the school isn't handling it "correctly" and I actually waste a lot of time in being angry on their behalf. What a waste! "You are not God. This is not heaven. Don't be an ass." I should be letting this self-made problem go and put them in God's hands through prayer. I should be a listening ear or just assist as the times come up. Look for ways to serve. If they ask advice, volunteer it humbly. I perceive this as a "boundary" issue. I need to stop entering in and being angry on behalf of others and learn to pray and assist.
